


You Know Why

by Bos05



Series: Fire and Ice [3]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Behind the Scenes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-01-29 15:03:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21412129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bos05/pseuds/Bos05
Summary: An injury during the Whisperer War forces Magna and Yumiko to take a good, hard look at their relationship; forces them to ask questions and hash out where they truly stand: together or apart.
Relationships: Magna/Yumiko (Walking Dead)
Series: Fire and Ice [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1324658
Comments: 8
Kudos: 58





	1. You Know Why

_How did this happen? How the hell did this fucking happen? _Yumiko let out a pained, shaky breath. She licked her lips, struggling to blink back the welling threat of tears as her eyes dropped down, fixating on the blood that had dried and cracked on her fidgeting hands. Her brow furrowed even deeper in the moment, and she leaned forward in the old, rickety chair.

God. It...it wasn't supposed to be like this—any of it: the fucking nightmare at Oceanside where the so-called Negan beheaded one of the skins' more prominent members, consequently ensuing an all-out war. And Luke, God, he was there in the crosshairs of it all visiting Jules. Their group, they had already lost one member—lost Luke. She couldn't afford to lose anyone else. She...she couldn't lose her—_not her_.

* * *

_"Ahhh," Yumiko grunted at the unexpected contact, reacting as her body slammed hard onto the solid ground. She blinked her eyes, attempting to catch her breath and get a hold of her bearings before quickly pushing herself back onto her feet in defense of her unknown, current attacker._

_As she was pushing up, wild strands of hair caught her attention._

_"Mag?" Yumiko's voice rose in question, carrying over the surrounding sounds of blood and chaos. She checked her immediate surroundings before scooting over to the fallen brunette._

_"Shit. Shit," Magna swore through clenched teeth, her trembling hand clutching her right shoulder. She struggled to take slow, even breaths from her nose and her chest rapidly heaved. "One...one of them had a gun; pointed at you," she hissed in pain, the back of her head hitting against the ground. "G"_

_Yumiko clenched her jaw at the words, her brain momentarily short-circuited at the notion that Magna (who was fighting further away) was somehow watching over her, was still trying to keep an eye out and protect, even after the events of their recent, ugly fall out. The very thought managed to steal all of the air from her lungs; managed to shake all the way down to her very shaking core, and it stirred up and awoke a wave of deep suppressed hurt and anger._

_"Stupid," Yumiko didn't think as the biting remark bubbled over and spewed from out of her mouth; the first real words she'd shared with her since their break. She shook her head, her chest tight and aching._

_"That's stupid, Magna. FUCK. WHY?" Yumiko's voice cracked and her brown eyes looked down into brown eyes, selfishly asking a question that ran so much deeper than its surface; that searched for some semblance of an answer as to if all of the past 13 years and everything they had gone through together and shared had been a complete fucking lie._

_Magna swallowed at the verbal lashing, her gaze unmoving._

_"You know why," the breathy response carried over the chaotic noise, bringing with it a thick, emotive weight; its heaviness choking and causing Yumiko to break eye contact. She couldn't do this, although her wounds were still very much raw and festering, bleeding all over the fucking ground. She couldn't do this: not here; not now._

_"Come on," Yumiko motioned, reaching out to help pull Magna into sitting. She frowned at the strain evident on the brunette's face, as the tug on her free hand jarred and aggravated further._

_"MIKO," Magna tensed, alerting as something or someone was walking towards them._

_"Shit," Yumiko muttered, pulling a knife from out of her side holder. She approached the seeming sicko with caution, gripping firmly onto the handle while checking its hands for weapons._

_Okay, she let out a breath in confirmation, moving her arm fluidly in one swift motion to stab through soft, rotting flesh. She forcefully removed her blade, checking to see if there was anything else in close proximity before turning her attention._

_"Let me see," Yumiko ran back to Magna, squatting down beside her. Her lips tugged downward as she was met with stubborn resistance._

_"Mag," Yumiko pleaded, her hand pushing at slick, bloodied fingers to reveal a gaping hole. She frowned as blood spilled freely from it, that trickled down and colored a growing blossom on her shirt. Yumiko sucked in a breath at the next question, and she fearfully examined her back._

_"That bad," Magna let out a sad knowing chuckle, observing Yumiko's brow as it furrowed even deeper; she caught the flash of panic in her eyes._

_Yumiko shook her head, her stomach twisting at the implications._

_"It wasn't a clean shot, Mag. There's no exit," Yumiko didn't have to say it; didn't have to allude to the fact that chances of survival were worse off than before._

_"Fuck"_

_Yumiko bit the inside of her cheek. That about summed it up, right there. She swallowed, licking her lips._

_"We better get moving or we will be," Yumiko reached out her hand, grabbing onto Magna's non-injured arm to help pull her all the way up. The combination of blood loss, throbbing pain, and the sudden change in positioning resulted in a strong wave of dizziness._

_"Woah," Yumiko noted Magna's stumbling steps, observed as she swayed unsteadily on her feet, and her hands went automatically to the tops of her shoulders to help steady._

_"I'm fine," Magna mindlessly replied on auto pilot, knowing the words sounded truly ridiculous coming out of her mouth, even to her. Yumiko studied her with concern._

_"Okay," Yumiko conceded, knowing they didn't have time. She steadied her trembling hands and took her knife, making quick work of her shirt to cut a long strip of fabric from the bottom._

_"Here," she balled it up, pressing it to the free flowing wound to try to better slow the bleeding. Magna hissed in pain at the touch, but her bloodied hand went up to hers, squeezing it gently in acceptance of the gesture before holding pressure. Yumiko let out a breath at the contact, blinking her eyes. _

_"Let's go," Yumiko motioned, leading the way for the two of them; her knife poised and ready to strike approaching skins and sickos alike._

* * *

Yumiko turned her head as sounds of creaking and familiar, light footsteps drew her out of her immediate thoughts. Her lips pressed together in a tight, thin line.

**How is she? **Connie approached slowly, asking in sign. She walked across the floor to sit down beside her. Yumiko noticed as she plopped down and sagged heavily in the chair; she took in the marks of fear and uncertainty etched upon her face, matching exactly how she was currently feeling on the inside.

Yumiko jutted her jaw, blinking her stinging eyes. She cleared her throat, struggling in vain against the hardened, choking lump.

**I don't** **know**, Yumiko shrugged her shoulders and let out a ragged breath, hanging her head low and signing tiredly; the physical and emotional toll of the day hitting her like a ton of bricks. The invisible force making it impossible for her to lift her head. All she could do was just stare, to just burn a fucking mental hole into the scuffed up floor. Its marks blurring and warping as hot tears stubbornly broke past the emotional threshold and started to fall. Her tears fell even harder, began to trickle down faster, as she came to register a comforting touch; as Connie's hand moved to hers and their fingers interlaced together in a warm, gentle grasp.


	2. Just Stay with Me

_"We're almost there, Mag. Okay, just stay with me," Yumiko's arm squeezed tightly around the brunette's waist, providing her with grounding, steadying support. Her heart slammed achingly against her heaving ribs as Magna leaned heavily against her; as her trembling hand grasped onto her shoulder._

_"Just a little bit longer," Yumiko bit the inside of her cheek, unknowing who—in the moment—she was trying to re-assure. She shook her head, clearing the thought from her mind._

_"Mag?" Yumiko frowned at the lack of response and at Magna's stumbling steps._

_"Mag?" Yumiko's voice rose, her ears detecting the quickened shallow breaths. Magna clenched her jaw, biting back a frustrated cry as her vision started to tunnel; as her knees shook and were nearing the brink of buckling from exhaustion and blood loss._

_"MAG,” Yumiko tried again, worry carrying in her voice. She turned her head, finding brown eyes that were heavy and unfocused._

_"HEY," Yumiko intentionally nudged her, the hard jostle sending a shock of agony to her system that brought with it a period of brief, painful alertness._

_"SHIT," Magna hissed, gritting her teeth together. Yumiko could feel her straighten beside her; sensed as her fingers dug deeper into her shoulder—the pants of pain and the sound of her short, ragged breaths reverberating like music in her ears._

_"Are you with me?" Yumiko was momentarily relieved, and she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding._

_"FUCK," Magna let out an agonal breath, her shoulders shaking._

_"I'll take that as a yes," Yumiko pressed her lips together._

_Just a little bit further, she thought—pleaded._

_Please. _

_PLEASE._

* * *

_Please_, Yumiko sent up another desperate plea, silently bargaining with any unknown power that be. She remained seated in the old, rickety chair, her hand grasped in Connie's for a present, grounding touch.

Caught up in thought, Yumiko was unaware as the hold on her hand loosened, and Connie had come to register the vibration of approaching footsteps. She reflexively sat upright at the gentle nudge on her shoulder, and her eyes followed and watched as shadows cast upon the floor.

"Hey," Siddiq entered into the room, his tired frame and voice managing to bring Yumiko up to her feet. Her heart skyrocketed straight to her throat the instant she caught sight of blood, Magna's blood, speckled on his shirt—dotting along his arms and hands. She licked her lips, vainly struggling against a solid, unmoving lump.

"How is she?" Yumiko's heart thudded loudly in her ears, muffling and making everything sound distant and unfamiliar. She only vaguely sensed as Connie stood up beside her, her warm hand placed upon her shoulder.

"We were able to get to the bullet—removed it—but she lost a lot of blood in the process. Sh-"

* * *

_"We're almost there, Mag. Just hold on," Yumiko continued to chat, talking but keeping their conversation surface level. Although this was the closest the two of them had physically been—and she wasn't in any position to try and evade a real discussion between them—now wasn't the time: with her being shot; with her slowly bleeding out in front of her._

_Yumiko's chest twinged at the building simmer of anger and hate; of fear and the flickers of so many confusing, conflicting emotions; things left unspoken. She jutted her jaw, bitterly swallowing and forcing herself to compartmentalize—to focus on the now and the immediate task at hand. Yumiko felt and heard as Magna laughed tiredly in between pants, the sound blessedly luring her away from the threatening rabbit hole._

_"You said that before," Magna's voice sounded further and further away, and Yumiko's lips turned downward as she leaned back; as her head lolled and bobbled against her shoulder without resistance, knowing it wasn't at all by choice._

_"It's still true," Yumiko tried her best to aggravate, to piss her off and keep her awake for just a little bit longer._

_"Are you still holding pressure?" Yumiko held tighter onto the reins and her thighs squeezed around Magna, keeping her more secure in the saddle as they galloped full speed towards the gates of Alexandria. While they were fortunate in finding their horses where they had left them, she prayed that it would be enough; that they would make up for lost time and they would make it._

_"Mag?" Yumiko momentarily glanced down to discover that both arms had gone slack and the wound on her shoulder was freely bleeding, trickling down onto her crimson stained shirt._

_FUCK, Yumiko mentally swore, noting as brown eyes fluttered closed, fighting and losing the battle of consciousness._

_"MAG," Yumiko violently jostled, the movement setting fire to the brunette’s shoulder._

_"G," her tired eyes suddenly widened and she bit back a sob._

_"Are you holding pressure?" Yumiko tried again, feeling guilty at the harsh tone._

_"Yeah," Magna’s voice broke and she swallowed down a cry, her chest heaving _ _as she pressed the bloodied cloth back up to her wound._

_"H...h...hey Miko," she panted, her brow deeply furrowing as the passing trees and grass warped; as darkness crept further into the edges of her vision._

_"What?"_

_Magna took a shallow breath, licking her chapped lips. She shook her head, her heart groaning with the heaviness of the situation, knowing that this was it: that she was never going to have another passed opportunity where she could have explained herself—her actions; that she was going to leave Yumiko with questions—so many fucking questions; aware that the previous lawyer and her incessant, meaningful pursuit of the truth would be left empty-handed in the matter—subsequently being haunted with lingering doubts of intent/of love long after she was dead and gone._

_Magna's lips tugged downward at the following thought, knowing that even with everything that had happened between them, she would still be mercifully taken out by Yumiko's hand; the act consequently chipping more and more of what remained of her humanity—her soul. Even with everything that had transpired between them, she didn't deserve it. She didn't._

_"Miko, If...if I don't make it, I want you to know that I'm s-"_

_"No”_

_"Miko"_

_"I said NO," Yumiko's voice cracked and she narrowed her eyes, anger rising within her chest. She grit her teeth, her hands gripping hard onto the reins. GOD, sh...she couldn't do this._

_"Yes, I know—I KNOW—that we have a lot of shit that we need to talk about—that we should talk about: mainly why you felt like it was okay to lie to me and let me believe that lie for all these fucking years. But I will not, we WILL NOT, have this conversation NOW; on the back of a mother fucking horse. You hear me, Magnolia," Yumiko seethed and she jostled her once again for good measure. _

_"Now, you are going to stay right where you are, OKAY; right now," she firmly commanded, her nose wildly flaring. Her anger quickly subsided _ _at the resulting onset of tears; as Magna quietly sniffled, stubbornly biting the inside of her cheek to try and stay awake for just a little bit longer._

_"O...Okay"_

* * *

"Okay, I-‘m sorry. What?" Yumiko blinked her eyes, forcing herself to try and focus in above the sounding pulse in her ears. Siddiq looked at her in the moment, nodding his head in understanding. He was very much aware that it was sometimes a lot to take in—it was hard to take in—whenever a loved one was involved.

"I said that she lost a lot of blood, but we were able to remove the bullet and we stitched it up. Her breathing is shallow and her blood pressure is low, but she's alive."

"And, what are the chances th-" Yumiko let out a pained breath, unable to physically finish the following thought. She jutted her jaw, swallowing against the rough, emotive gravel. Siddiq's lips turned downward and he shook his head.

"I'm not sure if she'll make it 'til morning," he couldn't give her false hope. Regardless, he had to tell the truth.

Yumiko's eyes welled and she nodded her head, her hand moving across her mouth in nervous habit.

"Can I see her?”

"Yeah, Dante, he's finishing up. I have to go check on some other people but I'll be back in there in a while."

"Thank you," Yumiko quietly replied, her brow furrowing at the weight of the situation. She was about translate to Connie and head in the direction of the infirmary but she stopped, Siddiq's voice sounding out.

"Hey Yumiko"

She turned her head.

"What?"

"It...it's really all up to her," he gave her a gentle nod, his throat bobbing with empathy.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is going to be my attempt in making some sense of the last few episodes of the Walking Dead. I just couldn’t leave their relationship the way they ended it. 
> 
> Feedback and comments are welcome.


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